Patience was a virtue

that I used to have in spades.  How else would you explain staying in a relationship that never quite led to marriage for almost 9 years, right?  But I've noticed my level of patience declining over the past few years.  In some ways, I think that's a good thing.  Being too patient can mean time wasted, or people taking advantage of you.  Certainly it takes a certain level of impatience to make the decision to pursue motherhood on my own, and I'm glad I reached that point when I did. 

I do know though, from the many moms I know, as well as the many hours I've spent around children myself, that mothering takes an awful lot of patience.  I'm beginning to see that even in the veeeeery early stages... while I'm just trying to create a little life to mother.  The past four months, I've been charting my temps and peeing on ovulation predictor sticks to learn more about my cycle.  Like clockwork, I got the "LH surge" on day 11 or 12 each of those months.  So who would have figured that now that I'm actually trying to DO something with this cycle, everything would decide to stall out?  Today was Day 12, and the line on the stick was very faint... definitely no surge yet.  I'm hoping for a different story tomorrow, and gotta think that it will come Wednesday at the very latest.  I was getting frustrated but then reminded myself that this is just the first of many, MANY lessons I'll be taught on patience.  This is going to happen in it's own sweet time, just like everything else concerning kids does.