Pink or blue???

In four days, I will - hopefully! - find out if I'm having a girl or boy.  It's funny how anxious I am for this now, since for years I thought I wouldn't want to know until birth.  There are a couple reasons that changed.  The first was when I decided to do the single-mom thing.  Going it alone, I just feel like I need to be able to plan as much as possible, and have lots of time to buy, register for and organize baby's gear.  I'm also hoping to hit some of the late-season garage and consignment sales to save some pennies.  And even if I hadn't made the decision to find out when I started "trying", seeing the lack of variety of "neutral" baby things might have persuaded me!  I am far from a girly-girl, and while I'm sure if I'm having a girl I'll get some cute pink things, I won't be immersing her in a totally pink world.  I was way too much of a tom-boy growing up.  But even things that aren't uber-girly definitely have a "gender identity."  It feels like I'd have to wait on getting much of anything if I waited to find out.  It may be different if I planned on having a second too... in that case I'd try harder to find cute neutral things to save them for #2.  Since I'm not, I figure it gives me license to go girl... or boy!

So, what will it be?  Boy, or girl?  So far I think most people are predicting a boy... but is that because many of them are hoping it's a girl?!  Myself, I don't have a feeling either way.  Or, I should say, a consistent one... for awhile I think girl, then boy, then girl again.  The same is true for my preference I guess...  there are days I hope it's a girl and worry that I'll be sad if not, but then something changes and I think I'd be a great mom for a boy and how fun it would be to have a son.  On the girl side, I know my close bond with my own mom is one of the big draws.  Yet there's no guarantee my daughter and I would have the same relationship.  Of course little girl clothes are totally adorable.  But the dog-lover I am, there's defnitely more pooch-themed boy things!  And I think it would be so fun to have a boy, who would get great sports exposure in my family, but who I'd also expose to lots of things that aren't totally macho... music, dance, theater, art.  Overall, there are lots of silly reasons to want either one, and I feel I'm just so lucky to have a child period, I know I'll be thrilled either way.  Yeah, on a down day, I'll be sad to think I'll never have whatever I'm not having... but the blessing of this baby has helped keep the down days to a minimum, and I think finding out the gender will make it that much more real for me! 

One thing I'm sure of... boy or girl... once I find out this Wednesday, the shopping urge is going to be MUCH harder to resist!!!

Finally sharing the good news!

Not sure why it's taken me so long to get back to my blog, especially when I've actually had something very exciting to talk about.  Yes - on Thursday, May 12, I took a pregnancy test, and got my first big fat POSITIVE!  That was after testing three times earlier that week and getting BFNs, so it was a huge surprise.  And pretty humerous, since I tested at 10pm and the first test had just a faint line; I just had to test again... which meant driving to Walgreens, finding them closed, then over to Cub to get another test, rushing home only to be unable to pee again for a little while, and finally seeing the test that said Pregnant in black and white about 11pm. By that time, I was pretty damn giddy!

After that, I got blood tests at my clinic that Friday and Monday to confirm my hopes.  Since then, I've had 3 ultrasounds, including the first-trimester screening which came back great.  According to the first-day-of-last-period timeline, my official due date is January 21, 2012.  Now I'm just eagerly waiting for August 31, when I have my Level II ultrasound and (hopefully!) get to find out the gender!  I'm so happy that Mom is coming down to go to that with me, will be really fun to not be alone for that one:)

I shared my news with everyone gradually, and even now at 17 weeks, there are still some friends out there that probably don't know, but most do.  Everyone has been super supportive and excited for me, which has made things that much better.  Overall my pregnancy has been pretty smooth so far, I definitely had some queasiness late in my first trimester, and even occasionally still do - especially when it's really humid. But I never actually got sick, so I feel pretty fortunate in that way.  I had a lot of fatigue for several weeks, and while I can't say I feel a rush of energy now, at least I don't feel like I'm about to fall asleep 15 times a day.  I have a TON of things to do to get my house ready, so far the most stressed I've felt is when thinking about that.  I know as I get closer to the actual delivery that will change though!

I can't neglect to add that today is my pup Descartes (Boo)'s 9th birthday.  It's his last birthday as an only child!  I really wonder how he's going to react to the new addition to our family, and hope that having a baby in the house isn't too tough on him.... and of course, that he's not too tough on baby!  I figure it can be a good thing... and quelch my worries about having a "spoiled only child"... that baby will actually have a little competition in my furry first-born:)