Changes

We've had our first big snowstorm here in Minnesota.  While the shorter days the change of seasons brings can be hard to take, I love the look of the snow on the trees after the first snowfall.

Not sure if it's the fun of the snow or what, but I've taken the BFN I got this week much better than the previous two.  After the first, I was terribly sad; the second, angry.  This time, I was more annoyed than anything... "ah come on, can't I just be there already?!"  Somehow I think just in the past week, the idea that if it's meant to happen, it will happen, has truly sunk into my conscience.  I also got some good news this week - my insurance company responded to my appeal and agreed with me (I'm amazed!), so I get another $900 in coverage for this year, plus I can count on a full $2000 next year.  So that helps ease the anxiety a little too.  I can't predict how long I'll feel this way, but it sure beats the blahs I've felt the last couple months, so I hope it lasts!

I did figure out that my timing the next couple months is a little precarious.  If my cycles continue as they have the past few months, I should be ovulating right over the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday breaks.  Methinks my clinic won't be open... not to mention that fact that I want to be up north with family, not sitting around my house waiting to bug a nurse on call to go in for an insemination.  So, I thinking I'm going to make a change and try another route the next couple months - ICI, or intracervical insemination, at home.  I also found another sperm bank that has less expensive options than the local one I've been using, so going to look into that. Sorry Orlando, it's not you, it's.... well, maybe it is you, maybe it's a lack of chemistry, but you're just not getting the job done, so I need to move on.  Who knows though, I come back to you in January if I'm still at this and go back to the more conventional clinic process! 

Okay, off to take my pooch for a walk in the snow.  Wishing all of my friends and family wonderful Thanksgiving holidays, stay safe and warm!!